Hi, it’s Marie Yates!

 

I am not ready to write this obituary. I do not want to write this obituary. But I am dying.

 

There are so many things that I could say that I really just don’t know where to start. Except that there are so many people I love. There are so many things I have done with great memories. And many things I had hoped yet to do.

 

Except, as I said, I am dying.

 

Or, more accurately as my husband will write, Marie J. Yates has died at the age of 61 in Stuart, Florida on January 4, 2026. She died with daughter Nikki Fitzharris and loyal husband of 40 years, Sam, at her side in their home holding her hands.

 

Sam gave her a kiss. She smiled. And died in his arms.

 

What I would like from each of you who read this is to know I never thought I would be here after simply going to the hospital to get better. It’s not supposed to be that way. It is not what I expected.

 

But, I want you to know that I have a special feeling for each of you. Some more feeling than others. But I do care and I do want you to know that our memories together are with me right until the end. Some memories are good. Some are not.

 

Some of you will remember me. Some will not. I’m dying so I really don’t give a…

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For my family, I have three older brothers. One, Paul, camped out in the hospital parking lot in his car just to be available when the doctors said I could have visitors. And he understood when I could not have visitors.

 

He also helped Sam and I at home when help was needed through countless hospitalizations and intensive care stays. And, finally with hospice at home care. Thank you Paul so much.

 

For my other brothers, Martin and John, I love them both. If they and you are reading this, I am dead. They are grieving.

 

My mother, Rosemary, will have a hard time with me dying. Please give her your support. No parent should have a child die before they die. I love my mother and all that she has been for me.

 

My father died a number of years ago. Not a day goes by that I do not think of him. Even now, in my final hours. He was my moral compass and guiding light. Every time I see a crow, I know it is him checking in on me. That’s a different story. Sam will share with you. 

 

Erik and Nikki are our children. I cannot start to say how much I love them. And our grandchildren. And a great-grandchild too. Wow.

 

I was especially proud of Erik at Christmas. He is Santa. Yes, the beard is real and when he dressed in the Santa suit, hundreds of children at his church and with Christmas 4 Kids with the Saint Lucie County Fire District saw the same magic in him that I saw. The kid in Erik came out. I miss him.

 

Nikki has had many conversations with me in the past few months. She is like her father and always sees the sunny side of things. Just like Sam she is so positive on everything. Sometimes, reality gets in the way, but I love her very much.

 

She has promised to continue to be like Sam and help him when I no longer can.

 

Christal Mims is a mini-me. A Marie who will Call You Next Thursday and has no problems letting you know what is on her mind the same way I do. I hope she never changes and remembers me for some of those special times even if I did drive her to the wrong hospital when she was giving birth.

 

Myrna Lopez is someone else you will see and hear as I die. When I called everyone personally to let them know I will soon be gone, she was the one who cried the loudest and with the feelings from within that are hard to describe but touch your heart.

 

My longest lifetime friend is Ann Brown. The stories we can tell. And likely have told many of you. I need an entire book to get all the words for Ann together.

 

Ann, I love you and you really are a best friend forever. No, you never “F’d” it up.

 

There are many others of you who I can only tell you that I am missing our times together right now. I am thankful for those of you who did not let obstacles or excuses keep you away from me in my final hours at home under hospice care.

 

We had some great and honest conversations. That’s me Marie.

 

I know that the greatest sadness will be felt by my best friend of more than 40 years and my only husband – Sam.

 

Sam has been my constant, my companion, my lover, my best friend and someone I know is torn apart by my death. Please help him through all of this. There are some who will attack him for standing up for me and for being my rock all these years.

 

Fuck them. There I go again.

 

Sam and I have been through some very good times, gone great places, and seen many things. I just did not think we would be writing the last chapter of Marie and Sam like this.

 

I am sorry but my love is larger than sadness.

 

I know my memories of him will have lasted me all my life when I die right to the end. I am sure his memories of me will hold the same place.

 

Forever and Ever Amen.

 

I started this as a letter to each of you, I am not ready to write this an obituary. I do not want to write this obituary. But I have passed.

 

Please know that this is only a small part of what I want to say and have time to say.

 

Close you eyes. Think of me. I am thinking of each and every one of you. My sharp words and stubbornness. My “cooking grandma” or “swearing grandma” reputation will bring memories for everyone.

 

I enjoyed cooking; travelling and flying; oh, so how I enjoyed shopping.

 

I played basketball in high school; loved mashed potatoes and gravy because they looked like volcanoes; I ran many marathons all over the country before I endured eight years of illness; and, was lucky my husband could administer home dialysis so I did not sit in those awful dialysis clinics.

 

Sam cared for me every day right ‘til the end and is caring for me right now.

 

Miss me because I miss you.

 

I think we all grieve because we so much miss the smiles, the happiness, and the dreams we have shared and just don’t want to give them up.

 

Life is not a song. But I do think that I have left on a jet plane and I don’t believe I’ll be coming back again.

 

I never gave up living, never gave up on life, never gave up on loving all of you in my own special way. Promise each other you will never give up.

Love,

Marie J. Yates